You Will Find What You Look For.
Look for an Adventure
There is a lot written on ADD/ADHD. To be honest, I don’t read most of it. The reason for this is that I find most (not all) of them incredibly boring. They are quite typical; list the symptoms, list the medication and/or treatment options, and then offer a supportive wish you well, or good luck on their blogs which are covered with advertisements. They also almost always address ADD as a problem, and a problem only. I feel by doing this they are scaring and misinforming there readers.
The majority of these articles are written by doctors. Doctors are used to treating problems, so I guess it would stand to reason that they should write about ADD in that context. There are two types of people who write these articles; Doctors and those with ADD. I think most people feel better reading something written by a doctor, rather than by someone with ADD. Because if a doctor said it, than it can’t be wrong. Don’t kid yourself. Believe it or not, sometimes doctors are wrong. They are only human, and while doctor written articles can be informative, and important, they are seldom inspiring. I write on ADD to inspire, encourage, and mostly to entertain people who are frantic or fearful of this dreaded title.
So, allow me to inspire you.
So, you or loved one is messy….. Albert Einstein said “A messy desk is a sign of a genius.” I will tell you that I have been living in my home for seven years and my wife would tell you that I have been cleaning it for that exact amount of time. I would say that the only thing in my life that is organized is this website.
So, what about daydreaming? Is it necessarily a bad thing all of a sudden for someone to have an active or creative mind? People say that people with ADD have trouble paying attention. I’m sure some teachers feel better believing that. The truth is that people with ADD have trouble paying attention to things that are not interesting to them. Is it a teachers job to teach the class, or is their job just to simply stand up and read the lesson plan each week? Ask your son or daughter to explain to you, everything they learned in school that day. Then ask them to tell you about a video game they play. See what takes longer.
Yes, children with ADD blurt out whatever they might be thinking. I would rather know what is on my kid’s mind, rather than wonder. That beats the absolute hell out of trying to pry information from them. Parents will know your child better as a result of this. While there blurts might not be appropriate sometimes, they will always be entertaining. Try embracing that, rather than snuffing it out. You know how many parents have kids that won’t talk to them? Too many.
So, your loved one is over-sensitive. I really fail to see a downside to this. Parents with ADD kids know better than anyone, that some kids are mean little bastards. So, you get down on your hands and knees and thank God for your child’s “Over-sensitivity” I spent years in school being picked on. My fellow students seemed to enjoy picking on me more than recess. My entire elementary career was an absolute daily hell. I would rather not ever believe that a child of mine was inflicting that same pain on another child.
You have a choice. You can decide that you or your loved one has a problem that will complicate their life. You can constantly remind them that they have some handicap that prevents them from being more than they are. You can continue feeling sorry for them, crying for them, or wishing they were not the way they are, thereby reinforcing the stigma that so many others have drilled into their heads there whole life. You can deny them medication because you are worried about what the other parents will think about your parenting skills.
You can have a backbone. You can tell your friends, your piers, your family, or anyone else who believes them less than what they are to just go to hell. You can stand up and be a proud and supportive parent, husband, wife, Mom, or Dad. You can realize that “The Fleas come with the dog” If you believe them inferior, they will believe it too. You can realize that you are lucky that you have someone that will never fall into the cookie cutter mentality of believing that the things they do, and say should be decided based on what is done by the “NORMAL PEOPLE”. I think the thing I would least like to be is ordinary.
I think people with ADD are, in many ways, that which some others are afraid to be. Some normal people don’t want to change out of their pajamas to go to the store, but they do. Some normal people want to tell other people what they think, or how they feel, but they don’t. They sit there quietly worrying about what others might think. They are afraid to be who they are.
Those of us with ADD will go down our own path. We will eventually get down life’s highway, but we will stop at many exits where we will create moments, and have adventures, but nothing in life is worth doing, if it must be done alone or in the absence of the people we love and care for.
So, your loved one has ADD. I will give you the best advice that anyone could ever give you, and that is quite simply this. “Enjoy the ride.”
I am Tom Nardone and You Are Welcome.
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