I AM NOT A TELE-TUBBY. I AM A HUMAN BEING.

I stand not, in your judgement. I stand atop Mt. Awesome!


tomboy

This morning, when I woke up, I realized there was no coffee. This was a problem. While I will seldom if ever, leave the house for anything other than work or an emergency, I really feel that a nice cup of coffee, makes the world more tolerable. I can’t even begin to describe the series of mental events involved in getting me to make the decision to do this. I had to literally, talk myself into it much the way I imagine a samurai warrior preps his own mind before battle. I considered recycling yesterday’s grounds still in the machine as an option, but in the end, I decided to go.

Having woken up to a cold house, I donned my one-piece fleece coverall pajamas. They are complete with the zip on socks/slippers and a hood. They were a gift from my lovely wife years ago and my favorite article of clothing.

So there I am downstairs dressed as big blue Tele-Tubby, with no coffee. I said all of my favorite swear words at a level of volume so as to not wake the princess, and then I went to my car, and drove up to Publix.

teletommy

It did not occur to me to change my clothes for the trip to the grocery store. I realized I was in character when I saw these two guys in the butcher shop lose it. They were laughing so hard I could not believe it. I got many looks especially from the ladies. Since I seldom have this effect on women, I don’t think they were the type of looks coveted by the superficial male. Yes, I think they might have thought I was challenged in some way. I got my coffee and checked out.

When I returned home, wouldn’t you know my wife found some coffee and made this giant, pain in my ass, trip unnecessary? I suppose writing this story is my way of salvaging the efforts I wasted. When I came in, she called me a “Tele-Tommy” she is clever this way. I guess she was playfully trying to embarrass me in front the people who love me, namely you because she insisted on getting a picture and said she would be posting this to Facebook immediately, and she did so.

Yah as if I am going to be embarrassed about something she posts to you guys. I was out there loving it, and I was doing grown-up, life shit, dressed as a Tele-Tubby in GenPop. So please Yvonne, don’t throw me to the briar patch.

I do not see a need to worry about how a bunch of damn strangers perceive me when I am out. It did not matter to me if they were entertained, inspired or offended. I don’t really even give a shit what the people I know think about the way I present myself. I have been to my own job on days off to buy things I need, in pajamas.

1503992_708098259202892_1078156857_n

My special pajamas, are always warm and always clean, well warm anyway. This is certainly not the first time I have gone out in the big blue pajamas. I have been to many places. Among them are, doctor’s offices, gas stations, stopping by a friend’s house, and once I went to Brett’s school to pick him up for a doctor’s appt. My wife did not appreciate my doing this. It was our first year of marriage and I will never forget her words. “TOM!!! WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!” I said in a calm voice, “Pardon?” Yvonne replied, “DID YOU JUST SAY, HEY…I WILL GO PICK UP MY WIFES SON FROM SCHOOL, DRESSED AS A PEDAFILE” to which I replied, “Uh I really just didn’t think about it dear”

I don’t do the school pajamas anymore.

Reaction to my wife’s posting on a Facebook group was favorable. It was given overwhelming support. People said, “Tom you Rock” and “F#@king awesome Tom!”

This has spawned an Idea.  I have decided the next time I go to get my prescription filled. I am going as the Tele-Tubby. I will don the big blue one-piece pajama, and go to the pharmacy. I hope that I can think of a way to video tape this event as I ask ridiculous questions of them. Perhaps, a question off one of my recent posts.

I did not purposely go out dressed as a Tele-tubby today in order to get a reaction from anyone. I am certainly not above such behavior but I wasn’t after it this morning. I did not even want to leave the comfort of my house. I just wanted my damn coffee.

It was not my intent for any of this to happen, nor was it my purpose in writing to teach you anything, but if you are the kind of person who needs to grow each day then, I understand. Please, let me provide you with some water and sunlight.

Go out in to the world of people who conform, and provide them with something to talk about, as many of them lack imagination and spontaneity. You might give some poor son of a bitch a conversation starter, for which he could be in great need of.

You are awesome. You are free. I am not saying you should purposely draw attention to yourself. I am saying go out there and just be who you are, and don’t worry if the expectations of strangers are not being met. If you wake up late for a movie you are supposed to see, and don’t have time to get ready, then don’t get ready. Just roll out of bed, cover the majority of body to prevent an arrest, and haul ass. Go enjoy the show. What you feel is acceptable, IS acceptable.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

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About Tom Nardone

I write about everything that I can find humor in. I don't write about politics because I don't care what group of people are chosen to destroy this country. There are enough people doing that anyway.
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28 Responses to I AM NOT A TELE-TUBBY. I AM A HUMAN BEING.

  1. Cheryl Huber says:

    bwahhahahahah Tom you are hilrious-would have loved to see that! Hey I know-you and Yvonne come to the farm again and visit, but you must wear the pajama’s! Wonder if the horse would think you are an alien! And, you are showing your age-some people don’t even know what teletubbies are! Unfortunately, I DO remember them! hahahaha-LOL at the vision of you-

  2. Esther says:

    Awesome, being myself isn’t always easy. Maybe i just need to learn that 😉 . To insecure about myself. I know it for sure that I will learn that one day, being myself 🙂 .

  3. xtrememom says:

    Sir Tele-Tommy… beautifully executed post!! Much thanks for the lol. I must ask… Do they have a button trap door on the butt? My husband has a similar jammy suit and his HAS this special feature.

    I also wonder if there’s such a thing on the inter webs as “The people of Publix.” You just may be a celebrity. 🙂

  4. I love it! Great Blog. You’re a man of courage Tom Nardone.

  5. Ned's Blog says:

    Betwen your Tele-Tubby and my “Sugar Daddy” PJs, we could have a lot of fun at Publix…

  6. ksbeth says:

    i understand and can identify with this. i wore my monkey pajamas to kroger’s on my way to my ladies spa night. had to pick up some wine and treats and was on my way for a comfort/pampering night in with the ladies, so why not get the comfort started early? i figured, as soon as i left my house the comfort night had begun so why wait? one of them still tells the story of running into me at kroger’s where she went to pick up her stuff on the way over too and knowing it was me in the checkout line, even from behind, when she saw my monkey pajamas. like you, not doing it to be weird or noticed, just was already in my comfort mode.

  7. Gray Dawster says:

    No, I won’t be going out in my pyjamas anytime soon Tom, simply because I never wear any 🙂 🙂 lmao To be honest I get some pretty funny looks just wearing my usual clothes, though I guess it’s my rings, studded wrist bands, pendants and flame sleeved hoodies that get most of the attention, not that I care, if they don’t like them, so what…

    After all, this is who I am and
    nobody said that anyone had
    to like it 🙂

    Have a good day today my great friend 🙂

    Andro

  8. I love who you are Andro. I hope if you are out and about dressed in anything less than kosher that you will obtain a photo for us all, Thanks so much man.

  9. Paul says:

    Ah,the dreaded unnecessary outing, I know it well. Wearing second hand clothes has caused some folks to believe I’m in need of assistance. Because I’ve been seen communicating with the homeless(not just putting coins in a cup, but speaking with them), the assumption is I too am homeless. Though the offer of a dollar has not always come when I stand shoulder to shoulder with homeless people. The conformist of which you speak don’t get off so easily with me. If they make it obvious to me and all around us that I’m the topic of discussion, I sometimes choose to make the conversation as loud as I can and as close to their face as possible. Usually prompting silence.

  10. Add ‘no shame in Tom’s game’ to the list of awesome. This was funny as hell.

    Tele-hubby might be another name.

  11. Jade Reyner says:

    There is nothing I can say that hasn’t been said. I think that you have started a cult now Tom… I love that you have so much confidence in yourself. It is a lesson to us all – although my PJ’s would probably not stand up to the supermarket trip. And we are a ‘tad’ more reserved over here… Great post. You made my day. 😀

  12. Andrew says:

    I can relate! There was a day last year where I had the kids ready to go and we were on our way out the door to the sitter when I realized as I was grabbing my shoes I had neglected to put pants on. Was still wearing the PJ shorts I woke up in. That would not have been good (work dress code is business casual LOL).

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