I stand not, in your judgement. I stand atop Mt. Awesome!
This morning, when I woke up, I realized there was no coffee. This was a problem. While I will seldom if ever, leave the house for anything other than work or an emergency, I really feel that a nice cup of coffee, makes the world more tolerable. I can’t even begin to describe the series of mental events involved in getting me to make the decision to do this. I had to literally, talk myself into it much the way I imagine a samurai warrior preps his own mind before battle. I considered recycling yesterday’s grounds still in the machine as an option, but in the end, I decided to go.
Having woken up to a cold house, I donned my one-piece fleece coverall pajamas. They are complete with the zip on socks/slippers and a hood. They were a gift from my lovely wife years ago and my favorite article of clothing.
So there I am downstairs dressed as big blue Tele-Tubby, with no coffee. I said all of my favorite swear words at a level of volume so as to not wake the princess, and then I went to my car, and drove up to Publix.
It did not occur to me to change my clothes for the trip to the grocery store. I realized I was in character when I saw these two guys in the butcher shop lose it. They were laughing so hard I could not believe it. I got many looks especially from the ladies. Since I seldom have this effect on women, I don’t think they were the type of looks coveted by the superficial male. Yes, I think they might have thought I was challenged in some way. I got my coffee and checked out.
When I returned home, wouldn’t you know my wife found some coffee and made this giant, pain in my ass, trip unnecessary? I suppose writing this story is my way of salvaging the efforts I wasted. When I came in, she called me a “Tele-Tommy” she is clever this way. I guess she was playfully trying to embarrass me in front the people who love me, namely you because she insisted on getting a picture and said she would be posting this to Facebook immediately, and she did so.
Yah as if I am going to be embarrassed about something she posts to you guys. I was out there loving it, and I was doing grown-up, life shit, dressed as a Tele-Tubby in GenPop. So please Yvonne, don’t throw me to the briar patch.
I do not see a need to worry about how a bunch of damn strangers perceive me when I am out. It did not matter to me if they were entertained, inspired or offended. I don’t really even give a shit what the people I know think about the way I present myself. I have been to my own job on days off to buy things I need, in pajamas.
My special pajamas, are always warm and always clean, well warm anyway. This is certainly not the first time I have gone out in the big blue pajamas. I have been to many places. Among them are, doctor’s offices, gas stations, stopping by a friend’s house, and once I went to Brett’s school to pick him up for a doctor’s appt. My wife did not appreciate my doing this. It was our first year of marriage and I will never forget her words. “TOM!!! WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!” I said in a calm voice, “Pardon?” Yvonne replied, “DID YOU JUST SAY, HEY…I WILL GO PICK UP MY WIFES SON FROM SCHOOL, DRESSED AS A PEDAFILE” to which I replied, “Uh I really just didn’t think about it dear”
I don’t do the school pajamas anymore.
Reaction to my wife’s posting on a Facebook group was favorable. It was given overwhelming support. People said, “Tom you Rock” and “F#@king awesome Tom!”
This has spawned an Idea. I have decided the next time I go to get my prescription filled. I am going as the Tele-Tubby. I will don the big blue one-piece pajama, and go to the pharmacy. I hope that I can think of a way to video tape this event as I ask ridiculous questions of them. Perhaps, a question off one of my recent posts.
I did not purposely go out dressed as a Tele-tubby today in order to get a reaction from anyone. I am certainly not above such behavior but I wasn’t after it this morning. I did not even want to leave the comfort of my house. I just wanted my damn coffee.
It was not my intent for any of this to happen, nor was it my purpose in writing to teach you anything, but if you are the kind of person who needs to grow each day then, I understand. Please, let me provide you with some water and sunlight.
Go out in to the world of people who conform, and provide them with something to talk about, as many of them lack imagination and spontaneity. You might give some poor son of a bitch a conversation starter, for which he could be in great need of.
You are awesome. You are free. I am not saying you should purposely draw attention to yourself. I am saying go out there and just be who you are, and don’t worry if the expectations of strangers are not being met. If you wake up late for a movie you are supposed to see, and don’t have time to get ready, then don’t get ready. Just roll out of bed, cover the majority of body to prevent an arrest, and haul ass. Go enjoy the show. What you feel is acceptable, IS acceptable.
I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.
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