Guest Writer Yvonne Nardone

yvonne-nardoneTom is the kindest smartest and funniest person I have ever met. He cares so much about kids and adults who have ADHD. You guys just dont know how excited he gets when people read him. Each time is no different than the first time. Tom and have a great thing, and although constantly disagree we seldom fight. Tom is my Best friend and husband and I’m proud to call him that. BUT,

He can really be a pain in my ass. Tom is unique, he claims he is so busy that he doesn’t have time to prepare his food. So he will eat abnormal portions of readily available food. Once he came home from work and thought warming leftovers to cumbersome so he took my entire fruit bowl upstairs and ate it. Who in the Hell, eats a bunch of bananas and half-dozen apples in one sitting?

Sometimes he does cook. Here are some of his specialties. He sometimes cooks instant mashed potatoes, serving for eight. He will microwave thirty two ounces of beans at a time. I have seen him  make four peanut butter sandwiches. I recently purchased him his own three qt. casserole dish to stop him from using mine for his cereal. He also will frequently eat from a pot and claim that it prevents dishes from getting dirty unnecessarily (real classy Tom). Tom says eating is just a pain in his ass and he doesn’t feel it important that he enjoy everything he eats. He says he just wants to make the hunger go away so he can do something else.

I no longer allow Tom to cook fresh or frozen meat. I once went to the grocery store and bought six pounds of ground beef on sale. I asked Tom. “Hey babe can you make up some hamburgers and put them on the grill while I’m in the shower, so we can eat lunch?” Tom says “Sure darling, you bet.”

When I came back into the kitchen, Tom was walking in from the back porch with a big smile on his face, and a giant plate full of hamburgers. Yes! Mr Awesome made hamburgers using the entire six pound pack. I bought six pounds of ground beef for meals for the week, but he turned the whole thing into 19 hamburger patties. We were the only people home that day. I asked him if he was crazy to do something like that. He actually said to me (and I’m not kidding) “Hey darlin, calm down it’s only Friday I’ll have every one of these eaten before the weekend is over.” I then scolded him a second time, and he got his feelings hurt, so he like a child said, “Well now I am not hungry. You have upset me and now I can’t eat”

I SNAPPED. I took the whole plate full of hamburgers out of his hands, and threw them into the kitchen garbage can, plate and all. I stormed off to my bedroom. As soon as I got to my bedroom, I realized wait this is “Tom Nardone”. The man that “always wins”,  you know “Mr. resourceful”. I knew he would just fish them out of the trash and eat them anyway. I went back into the kitchen, and there he was staring into the garbage can like a hungry stray dog. I took the bag out of the can and added to it, the contents of the cat’s litter box. I then tied the bag looked him right in the eye, as I violently began shaking the bag so that he would not find any edible hamburgers in there. I knew it was the only way he would know to not even try to salvage it. Through my whole fit of rage he said nothing. He just stood there like an idiot with his mouth open in disbelief. He was smart enough not to talk.

This was quite a while ago. I suppose Tom has warn me down and I have began to just let things slide. I haven’t gone psycho on him for quite some time now. I am rather proud of him, and I have learned to laugh at this kind of thing. I think one of Tom’s favorite idioms is most appropriate for himself. “Well, the fleas come with the dog.”

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About Tom Nardone

I write about everything that I can find humor in. I don't write about politics because I don't care what group of people are chosen to destroy this country. There are enough people doing that anyway.
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  1. ksbeth says:

    yvonnenardone, you are the perfect partner for tomnardone. and you are reaching your way towards finding your balance, one giant bowl of fruit and trash can of cat litter and hamburger patties at time. he does help a lot of people with his writing, your yoda, but you help those who love and live with the yodas of the world. great post yvonnenardone.

  2. Yvonne, that story had me laughing aloud. I could see both sides and picture Toms reaction. Gad, that you would have to go to this extent to prevent diving in to save the burgers!

    You two are I think perfectly matched and fortunate to have found each other.

  3. Gray Dawster says:

    You won’t believe it but I think Tom and I are twins, I too have similar traits and i like the simplicity of his eating plans, well perhaps I wouldn’t eat a whole bunch of bananas in one sitting but I always like a nice pair, I mean a nice pear of an evening 🙂 lol I am so glad that you know that I am jesting with my tongue-in-cheek wickedness and Tom can we have another round of hamburgers, I think Yvonne has been to the butchers again 🙂

    You guys are brilliant, I know that I still have a few postings of Tom’s to catch up on and I will be doing that this week, I just hope there will be enough cereal for the both of us, I always eat out of a large dish, it’s like three helpings at once but at least it save me rushing back into the kitchen after the first bowl is empty, like three-in-one makes a lot of sense to me 🙂

    Keep on loving each other, morning, noon and night, I know that you will and that makes perfect sense to me also 🙂 😉 Tom, we still have the doughnuts to get through, oh and if you don’t mind spreading me a quadruple supply of peanut butter sarnies I wouldn’t mind those my great friend 🙂 Yvonne we are a tad hopeless sometimes, being men I mean but we love evry minute of it, how do you mean love every minute of what? Well I can’t say, but Tom will know what I mean 🙂 lol

    Have a superb start to your Monday and enjoy each other 🙂

    Andro xxxx

  4. pat chambers says:

    Watogo yvonne….hilarious.

  5. Gina Pera says:

    Haha! I can relate!

    The one time my husband (who happens to have ADHD) “cooked” in our 20 years together was BROILING a frozen pizza.

    Burned on the top. Frozen on the bottom.

    He pronounced it “delicious.”

    Looking at my incredulous face, he said, “What’s your problem?”

    It worked! I’ve done all the cooking ever since.

    Smart, smart man.

    Nice job, Yvonne!


    • Thanks I love it when my wife gets involved in the blog. She usually agrees to see if she can embarrass me. Yeah like that could ever happen. I could not believe i actually talked her into a podcast once.She is ADHD as well and this house never knows a dull moment.

  6. Susan Lafitte Watkins says:

    Yvonne, I loved your share, “My husband is ADHD and his name is Tom Nardone.” It is a great plus anytime you read an article and it makes you bust out laughing. This I did when I read you went back down and put the cat liter in the bag then shook it.

  7. Danielle says:

    OMG there are still tears streaming down my face and I wasn’t going to read any more posts. Sorry Tom but this post by Yvonne is one of the funnier ones I have read. The cat litter!!!!!! Wow Yvonne, you get EVEN. That is so awesome. I eat the same way too. I eat well when good food is placed in front of me at regular intervals and I’m not too engrossed in something else to care… But otherwise it has to be easy. Cereal is easy. Chocolate is easy. Pulling something out of the fridge that is MEANT to be eat cold is easy if it is in front on the top shelf. Putting it in the microwave is one step too many. That is hard. I just don’t eat if I have to do that much work. The cat litter though. I said I wasn’t going to read another post I was going to do the thing I have to do so no one accidentally kills me that has to get done before I go to bed and go to bed so I can go have fun tomorrow but I’m glad I read just ONE more… I’m not going to sleep tonight because I’ll just randomly think of cat litter and bust out laughing lol. Thanks for sharing that. You guys are both great and perfect for each other.

  8. morfylou says:

    Oh dear god 😀

    I was imagining Tom’s face, staring into the bin, face like a puppy which has had it’s ass booted. No, no to the bin burgers Tom! Ach a fi!

    This does remind me of when my mam’s colleague and friend, asked me and her son (we are both on the autistic spectrum too) to make salad round hers, for our joint colleague’s leaver’s do. I won’t explain further. I know I don’t need to. Insert hilarious story and the salad being totally redone. Hey, did as we were asked. Our own interpretation of one set of instructions!

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