In my home are many unfinished tasks. I know all too well, this is a symptom of my ADHD. It is not always a bad thing. I would like to mention several things in my house that are not completed. Some of you may see them as incomplete. I see them as something else. I am going to bring this full circle at the end so hang on.
My house was apparently built by an asshole. About eight years ago, the toilet began to leak. Unfortunately it was not the tank causing the leak; it was the bowl. A leaking tank would have been favorable since this would be fresh clean water. The leaking bowl meant it was “Honey-Water”. I could have let the fresh water go for a while but the honey-water needed to be dealt with immediately.
I pulled up the toilet and cleaned the floor. I then used two wax seals to re-install it; like the builder should have done. I completed the toilet install, but the toilet is used every day and this made it a priority. What never gets used is the ceiling below the toilet downstairs. I had to cut it away to fix the toilet so there was a big hole in the ceiling. The way I saw it was, “Hey, this hole isn’t hurting anyone. Great; not a priority”
That hole stayed there for about two years and one day during one of my wife’s “I don’t want to live like this” rampages, she insisted I do something. Well as you can see I did something but it is still not complete.
That wet feline bastard
Here you see a big hole in the wall in my bathroom closet. Our bath tub faucet was leaking and I was was fine about it. It could leak all it wanted to. The problem our cat loved the water and would stand under the dripping faucet. Each morning when he heard my wife’s alarm clock he would run downstairs and jump in the bed with her. For years my wife never knew why he was always so wet in the morning. She came upstairs once to ask me what I was doing and saw the dripping faucet.
Yvonne shouted “TOM!”
Tom said cheerfully, “Yes dear?”
Yvonne barked, “HOW LONG HAS THAT FAUCET BEEN LEAKING!”
Tom thinking very quickly on his feet said, “Darling! you look great in that shirt where did you get it? Is it new?”
Yvonne, who was not impressed with Toms comedic composure screamed, “XBOX OFF! PUT ON SOME PANTS AND GO TO HOME DEPOT! THIS SHIT ENDS TODAY!”
I had to cut this hole in the wall to access the plumbing and as far as I know my wife doesn’t know the hole is still there. She doesn’t read my blog much. She says she lives with this bullshit; why should she read about it.
The bathroom faucet was a priority so I replaced it as instructed, but no one really ever used that one little section of wall. This is why it is still a hole.
Okay yes. Technically these are all tasks that have not yet been finished. I choose not to see them as unfinished tasks. I look at them as praises and accolades in a glass jar. Allow me to explain.
Through the eyes of Tom
You know how great it feels when a project is completed. You have that feeling of just…WOW! Look at that! Well I have six or seven projects that are almost done. Whenever I need a blast of accomplishment, I can walk right over to the piece of missing ceiling or wall and spend a short period of time and I will be finishing a big job. It is basically like receiving a discount on that productivity rush we all so covet. Now comes the reward.
I can then go into Yvonne’s room, and say, “Yeah babe… you know that bathroom job? Yeah… I just knocked it out. It was no problem. It should have been done a long time ago babe. I got it done for you though.”
Yvonne will say, “Good Job! Tom. I am proud of you.”
To which I say, “Okay babe you’re welcome. Hey, listen I am going to run out to GameStop and pick up the new Call of Duty. You want anything while I am gone.”
BAM! Game, set, match; Tom wins.
There are many reasons not to finish shit. If you are bored, you don’t have to start a new project. You always have something to do. Maybe in your one or two year break, you come up with a better idea to improve the project. Maybe it is something you do not want to screw with, and someone else will do it. They might really enjoy that kind of crap.
Maybe life is just, for the moment, too annoying to worry about it. Maybe we are just unsure how to proceed and afraid of screwing something up. Maybe for some or all of these reasons, we just don’t give a shit about this one little stupid thing that is not disrupting the balance of the earth.
I realize this is a challenge for many people. There are many ADHD coaches who work with individuals for whom this is a tragic and defeatist problem. There are those who aspire to finish things. This why God gave you ADHD coaches. I have the utmost respect for an ADHD person who can help orchestrate multiple lives and their own as well. I don’t know how they do it. They are from God.
Then there are those of us who simply prioritize things and don’t worry about the things that are not completed. We just do well to keep it together, get to our jobs and attend to the more pressing matters in our lives. You just want to be understood and made to feel good about being who you are.
You people have me.
I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome.
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