Turn the Other Cheek My Ass.

Tom-Nardone-RevengeThere are those of us with ADHD for whom the majority of the challenges we have are social. Perhaps, certain people would rather not be around you. Some of them seek only to undermine and tear you down. What they are doing is simply identifying themselves to you as if they were wearing a little name tag that said, “HELLO, I am an Asshole”. I suppose my question is, “Why is this bad thing?”

If you think about it there are a lot of assholes in the world. Most of us with ADHD have a lot of empathy for people. It is one of our so called “Flaws”. This makes me believe that my ADHD in this area is a good thing. Why in the shit, would I want to be friends with people who are mean to other people just for the sake of sport? What use would I have for a man or woman who believes their social standing is tied to the amount of pain they inflict upon others.

Having grown up with bullies, I know all too well how terrible it feels to be the victim. I have written of the ways I have dealt with this and while most people found my methods funny or entertaining, there are those who felt I just became a bully in the process. Well there is no law against being and idiot so I suppose they have a right to their opinion.

It’s as if these people have an expectation of me to have just turned the other cheek while in the presence of a bully. The only reason I would ever turn the other cheek is to make it more convenient for them to kiss my ass.

tom-assholeI chose to exclude this story from my upcoming book for a few reasons, but Why waste it? I only did this after all other means had failed.

There was this one particular asshole in high school who paid severely for his bullying. He enjoyed making fun of me and the two friends I had while in large groups and then expected to be treated with respect by us when he saw us out of the presence of his friends. He was usually the ring leader and we could not stand him.

My friends and I had decided to crash a party one night. We got there and several people started giving us a hard time about being there. We had decided to leave, but not before two of us went into their bathrooms and left an “Upper-Decker”.

As we were leaving here comes the aforementioned asshole who seemed to think we were all friends now that the rest of his shit-eating friends were not around. He told us he needed a ride home. The friend of mine driving agreed. The whole way there he was telling us how to be cool and how to act in a way people would like us more. That was all I could stand any longer. The guy still had his bottle in his hand and passed out before we got to his house.

It was around 2:00am when we got there and we could not wake him up. I got an impulse. I decided we would end the relationship with this guy once and for all. I pitched this Idea to my friends and they were on-board.

Okay now Wait!! I am not advocating this, and I know how wrong it might be. I am just telling a story so if you don’t like it you can just leave now before this shit reaches the next level. This guy was about to learn exactly how awful a creative mind could be.

We stripped this guy completely naked and laid him out on top of the car. We wrote messages all over him in black and red markers. We drew lewd pictures on him until there was no room left to draw. We flipped him over and did the same thing to the other side of him. When we were finished we took him to his front door and laid him out front side up, spread eagle and then we rang his door-bell about ten times and ran away. It was awesome to see his parents come to the door and freak out.

I normally would feel bad for the guy’s parents but not in this case. Any parents, who are stupid enough to buy their high school kid a Porche to drive to and from school, can also afford to be taught a lesson.

So once again the good guys win. A welcome change, if you ask me.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.


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About Tom Nardone

I write about everything that I can find humor in. I don't write about politics because I don't care what group of people are chosen to destroy this country. There are enough people doing that anyway.
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5 Responses to Turn the Other Cheek My Ass.

  1. Heheheheh. I call that the consequences of being two-faced, then getting drunk and passing out in the care of kids you’ve been bullying. Those upper deckers were nasty, though. I’d hope some innocent, uninvolved party wouldn’t have to clean those out.

  2. ksbeth says:

    school supplies put to good use.

  3. Danielle says:

    I love this story. I don’t think this is becoming a bully. You were defending yourself. Bullies pick on those they perceive to be smaller and weaker. I love it when they are wrong.

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