ADHD and Resentment | Success May Come at Too High a Price.

tom-nardone-adhd-1

Some of us with ADHD have experienced a life of failure. We try, and we try, but in the end the scoreboard is the same. I am not suggesting we are destined to fail, or victory, for us is a fool’s errand. I am saying some of us with ADHD see it more than most.

I have realized through seeing my brother Phillip that it is a lot of work to be as successful. Phil is a real estate agent, and he brings home the bank. The other thing about Phil is that he works his ass off. He almost never gets a day off and he is always busy. He gets one day off a week and he spends a good portion of that day on his cell phone. Everything he does today affects tomorrow and everything he did yesterday affects him today. SCREW THAT!

I love and respect Phil very much. He loves what he does, and seeing him in action and hearing of the multitude of problems he must deal with every day has made me very comfortable being an underachieving slack-ass. I would not do what Phil does if they guaranteed me 150k dollars a year. I would rather just have my job where I go to work and go home. My day always ends at the end of the day. There is a great deal of value in that. I don’t think I would want to own my own business either. What if I had an asshole such as myself working for my company? Ughh!

success

I also asked myself how much happier would I be if I drove a car that was coveted by the rest of the driving community. What if it did have a little BMW circle front and center on the hood? I have never in my life driven anything but a piece of shit, and I like it that way. I think when the excitement of my shiny new car wore off, I would be left with a car other people wanted to steal, or one I would worry would get a little ding on it from someone opening their door into it in a parking lot. (Heaven forbid)

What if my house had twenty one rooms and a six car garage? It does sound exciting but when I think more about it, My house has 9 rooms and I spend almost all of my time in one. Besides, I would just live in one room until it got filthy and rather than clean it I would just move to the next room and so on. Then instead of having one room I would never clean I would have twenty one rooms I would never clean. You see? Sometimes less is way better.

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Just about everything else rich people do with their money involves boats, golf, vacations, and other things done far away from their homes. Well I don’t ever want to leave my home. Most of the things in my life that irritate me take place away from my chair. I find it best not to leave the house. Being that I have a wife whose idea of living life extends beyond our property. I have to make exceptions. After all, I do love my wife.

Picture3I am not saying I would turn down millions of dollars if it were given to me; no one would. What I am saying is that the things in life presumed to be “The greater Things in Life” don’t hold such an appeal to me that I would ever break my routine or my ass to get them. I have been a middle class slob my whole life and it feels fantastic.

While I suppose one way to impress people is with clothing, cars, houses, or boats, I don’t have a need for them to be impressed with me for that. I want them to be impressed that I am happier than they are and I didn’t work as hard or as much to be so.

My point is that the most important thing in life is to be happy. No matter what you do, you can’t be successful if you can’t be happy. A miserable rich person is still a miserable person. Do whatever it takes to be happy.

If it takes you spending all of your time, kicking your own ass every day at a job you hate so you can be rich and successful, you go and do it. If being a wandering observer of humanity while living on the streets and riding freight trains from town to town is what will make you happy, you go and do it.

I love being Tom Nardone and I don’t ever want to be like anyone else. I am where I want to be and I am with the people I want to be with. I have things I am working on in the future and I am ready for them to fail as so many other things for me have in the past. I will do my best and I will either fail as expected or be pleasantly surprised in success. This may sound negative to you. If so, please continue with your current system. This is what works for me and it continues to serve me well.

If money, power and things are what success is defined as, then it comes at too high a price. I will not pay it. Not ever.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

***Thank you Alan Brown for the phrase, “Kicking your own ass”***

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About Tom Nardone

I write about everything that I can find humor in. I don't write about politics because I don't care what group of people are chosen to destroy this country. There are enough people doing that anyway.
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24 Responses to ADHD and Resentment | Success May Come at Too High a Price.

  1. Gina Pera says:

    Inimitably well said, Tom!!! 🙂

  2. Marie says:

    I’m in total agreement with you, sir. In fact, I have anxiety dreams sometimes that there are rooms in my house I never knew were there. Holy crap, that’s exactly what would happen if I had a mansion, No thanks! And more house means more to clean and maintain, same with a pricey car.

    So yay me, I’m living life the Tom Nardone way!

  3. My motto is I work to live, not live to work. I never saw the point of putting in seven days a week and not having the time (or being too tired) to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I like to work and get paid enough to maintain my life, take care of the family, stay on top of the bills, and have a little extra to play with. And I also like to have a decent, comfortable, reliable car to get around in, but I’m not willing to pay $500/mo plus a high insurance premium to drive a status symbol that’s only going to get scratched or dinged in a parking lot. I enjoy my days and weekends off, whether I do anything productive or not, and being able to tell the rest of the world that I’m not available. Some people are just built for the high-paying, high-pressure, long-hours working world. I’m not one of them.

  4. Gina Pera says:

    Also, indomitable. 🙂

  5. clowtec says:

    Reblogged this on Clowtec and commented:
    Take a look at this lazy bum. Sitting there telling us what we are all doing wrong. Well, I guess that’s cool if you drool like Tom Nardone. With love and envy, your stickler frenenmy;)

  6. I feel very similiar, Tom. I prefer to measure my idea of personal wealth by the size of my library, not my bank account.
    “If you want to know what god thinks about money, just look at the people he gives it to.”

  7. ksbeth says:

    i have never been, nor ever will be motivated by money or the things it can buy. i see it as fluid, it flows into my hands and out just as quickly. i can always make more when it’s gone if i need it, but really just want enough to pay what i need to, and have a bit leftover to help my kids when needed and have some freedom to do things i’d like to do. i agree with you that you have to be happy with whatever you do, and i love what i do every day. i’d do it for free if i could. well said, tomnardone.

  8. Lindsey Anderson says:

    Well said Tom…I grew up around folks with money..saw numerous divorces ( very ugly),.saw some
    folks lose a million and have severe nervous breakdown…even though he had millions in the bank.
    I have always shied away from wanting big bucks, it bring chaos and misery down the road. Haven’t seen anyone unscathed yet. I’m in a minion position at my job..when I work, I work my ass off…when I leave, it all stays at the office. Just want to pay the bills..would love to travel around Europe again like I did when I was younger. But if I dont, so what? I really don’t care..its all come and go. Just want to be safe , warm and somewhat balanced…everntually . Besides, I always said if I had a job I couldn’t get enough of my kids would suffer …I know me, it’s too obsessive . For thing to succeed, the other has to suffer.

  9. Well Tom, you hit the nail directly on the head with your logic and good sense. If you could get a pay check for this you would be wealthy beyond belief and still happy. Dang, or would you? Yes, I think you would.

  10. Tom – good post. Words to live by.
    I used to counsel medical students that if they made a total commitment and worked their tail off, they might have a chance of making A’s. If they worked in moderation they would probably make B’ and Cs and could have a life. . And in the long run, the grades probably wouldn’t make any difference.

  11. morfylou says:

    Hear, hear.

    1. If money and possessions equals happiness and success, then I’m screwed. I’d rather not be screwed, so here I am with my girls, cats, debts and my life which contains moments that others I know who have money, campers, cars etc don’t have – who is the richer now…

    2. The only reason I’d disagree about owning a mansion is, that between my manshape and I, we have five small girls and our only way to cohabit, being that both of mine and one of his girls have problems, would be to have somewhere with enough rooms for he and I to have our own room (see your podcast re being kicked out of Yvonne’s room for kinda why), for the girls to have their own rooms, and ideally a guestroom for all our family to use when one of them comes by – aye, that’d be useful. Otherwise, I too live out of my bedroom.

    You always speak such sense. 😅

  12. Danielle says:

    My definition of success has evolved over time. It’s been being the best at what I do (I’m happy with 2nd place for awesomeness right now – no one can compete with you), money, stuff (which is problematic because mo stuff = mo mess), getting up in the morning (my definition of morning is the first 2 hours after I wake up and has nothing to do with the actual time, beating some jerk at their own game, being happy but happiness is transient, being content, finishing something I start, getting sleep…. It’s been a lot of things. Right now it’s getting up when I fall on my face. You cn take that literally or figuratively. Either one works with me. The question is not if I will fall on my face again but rather when.

    • Danny that is a fine definition of success. You seem to be happy over all and for that reason I would consider you a huge success. You are without a doubt one of my favorite readers and I appreciate you always having something to add.

  13. Justin says:

    You have wisdom many will never attain in this life
    Money only brings happiness until it provides for your basic needs(food shelter safety whatever that may be for you). Beyond that money is useless for bringing happiness.
    I left funeral service because it was killing my life. That job was going to put me in a grave( at least at a discounted price though). Getting an average of 3 hours of sleep per night, working 75 hour weeks plus being on call the rest of the time completely tore me away from my family which is what brings me happiness. On top of that I wasn’t even paid enough to afford a cheap apartment so we were forced to live in one of the less used funeral home locations. So in this case I was working the hours of a rich person but getting paid like someone well below the poverty line. Even if I did get paid a respectable amount I would never go back to that job because I still would not have what makes me happy. My family.
    Anyway this is my way of saying I loved this article. I am glad I stumbled across it and I wish more people could understand your perspective on this topic.

    • Justin says:

      I forgot to add that right now I have a new job that allows us to barely scrape by each month and I have never been happier with a job. I spend time with my family every day and every weekend, it is wonderful. Leaving funeral service was the best decision I’ve ever made! People thought I was unwise to throw something away after working so hard to get it. I saw the bigger picture and knew I had to change before it was too late. I am truly happy now.

    • Thanks so much Justin. I will never be known by what i do for a job unless i can figure out how to be rich by being awesome and making people laugh.

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