There is no Job in the world for which I have more respect, love and admiration for, than that of an ADHD Coach. It is a great and terrible thing to be an ADHD Coach, and while the rewards can be unmatched so can the sadness involved. It must be a Hell of a thing getting to know the struggles of an ADHD child or adult. I have many friends and I suppose colleagues in the ADHD community who I have come to know. They are in my opinion, heroes. I publically acknowledge and thank you all for the difference you are making.
I was asked by a coach who I know fairly well a few weeks ago if I was an ADHD coach? After I was finished laughing, I politely explained I was not. I was flattered someone who read me could think I have my shit together enough to be a person who could do such an incredible task.
There are two kinds of coaches and I will choose my words carefully. There are the “Legitimate Coaches” and there are those I like to call “Half-Ass Coaches” okay well not too carefully.
Legitimate coaches are ADHD coaches I referred to in the aforementioned paragraphs. They are those who are in a position to help people. They have a plan or a system in place to guide or encourage their clients. They are those who can see the strengths in their clients and use those strengths to help them develop a personal plan that works for them. The majority of them are certified which whether or not this helped them, certainly shows a commitment on there part to be the best they can be.
Now ADHD coaches cannot say this but I am Tom Nardone so I can say any damn thing I want. The Half-Ass Coaches are the scourge of the ADHD community. Let me explain why. While they are not bad people, and while their intentions are good for the most part, many of them suffer from what I like to call The Head-up-ass syndrome.
The Head-up-ass [hed-up-us] syndrome is a new condition the medical staff, here at ADHD People, have discovered. This is a condition is a one which limits a person’s ability to help ADHD People. Our research shows these people to have a unified belief. They believe what worked for one person or two people will work for everyone. These are people who do not have their own shit together, but have given advice to 2 or more others, and got positive feedback. Then all of a sudden, they see what they believe to be a revelation.
They then think “Hey! I must be qualified to be an ADHD Coach.” Let me hit you people with some truth. You’re Not Qualified! You have Headupass Syndrome and the only know cure is education.
I know many people who have helped others through tough times. I am grateful for their wisdom. They did it to be a friend or to be supportive; not under the banner of ADHD Coach. The Half-Ass Coaches dirty the whole ADHD Coaching profession. This is where the trouble begins.
When it fails as it often does, the client is left feeling as though coaching did not work for them when the truth his they have not yet been coached. This does a disservice to them and all the other coaches who could have helped them. Just because you like to eat pizza, doesn’t qualify you to make the dough.
The following don’t necessarily qualify you to be an ADHD Coach.
- Being a good listener
- Street smarts
- Being and admin for a large Facebook Group or Page
- Having 20k followers on Twitter
- Have a really fantastic head-shot as a profile pic.
I am not suggesting these things disqualify you either.
I realize how great it feels to help someone with ADHD and I think that is fantastic when people take their time to offer an opinion. When people ask me about my own struggle I share my opinion. I am not qualified to offer coaching services. If you read my blog much you know I am not interested in that level of responsibility.
In Facebook groups of pages, there is no shortage of support, but when a person is affected by ADHD, to the point they or their family shells out money to fix the problem, it becomes a very big responsibility. They are people in pain and chances are coaching is their last resort. Nothing they have tried has worked and now they are depending on YOU for results.
I would have loved to have had an ADHD coach as a child. The pain I went through was at the time unbearable. It was serious and I could have benefitted from such a thing tremendously. I am so pleased to hear the success stories. I love hearing of where people are, and from where they came as a result of a loving coach who tirelessly made time for their client.
It boggles my mind how anyone with ADHD can take on the responsibilities of everyday life as they do and in addition, help others who have the same problems. I can barely manage my own life. I would feel very sorry for the person saying, “Tom, can you tell me how I can better manage the cleanliness of my house and stay organized?”
Thanks coaches all of you.
I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome.
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