It is a part of life for some of us with ADHD to be misunderstood. When we offend or rub others the wrong way through what we perceive as a normal exchange during a conversation or an interaction we cannot help but feel bad.
When ADHD people do this, they often retreat to groups who will give a sympathetic ear and do what they can to console or support the person who has been involved in this incident. I am glad to know there are places we can go for this type of support when needed.
I hear of this type of thing happening several times a week. What I find truly sad is when this happens among us. I think as ADHD people we should be more understanding when one of our own acts as an asshole. We are very quick to judge.
Now, just twenty minutes ago, while eating in my man-cave, I spilled some of my dinner on my futon and then just brushed it onto the carpeted floor. Now, does this make me a slob? Of course not; I am slob because this happens frequently and I rarely care enough to do anything about until weeks or months later.
If I had ran downstairs and grabbed the vacuum cleaner and sucked all of this mess up, would I then be considered a neat freak? The answer to that is NO! Even if I did this, I would still be sitting in a room that looks like this.
You see you have to earn the right to be called a neat freak by a sustained period of behavior that is consistent with keeping your shit picked up. You don’t get that title for a single act of cleanliness. As with being considered a slob, you must also earn this title. When your shit is scattered around the house in disarray and you have established a track record of complacency and indifference toward neatness, then and only then can you rightfully be called a slob.
This is true of many characteristics of human behavior, except for the characterization of asshole.
You can be a great person. You can be the most caring and understanding person the world has ever known. Let’s say you were the priest at your local Catholic Church. You have that one day, when things did not go your way. You said the wrong thing to the wrong member of the congregation and that is all it took. You might just as well have taken a shit, in the collection plate, and risk being burnt at the stake.
The world seems far too eager to jump on someone who for the most part might be a decent person every other day of the year.
Here is some truth for us all. ADHD people have enough shit going on that they are expected to care about. We have bills, kids, grades, job-shit, and all the other things that make life so wonderful.
In spite of all these things many ADHD people manage to make themselves available to be in groups and laugh and joke and entertain other ADHD people in an attempt to relax and enjoy what little time they have left before they have to go to bed and do all this shit over again the next day.
So the next time you think someone has been an asshole to you, give them a break and realize their life might have been just as shitty as yours was that day and maybe they have dealt with enough bullshit and therefore don’t really have any need of you to dump more on their plate in the forum of ridicule. If you don’t like something maybe you can just scroll down and discover someone who is less of an asshole.
I accept if you are a first time reader on this blog and you might not like me. I am a little different than most. You see many people enjoy saying, “I don’t give a shit what people think!” when they actually do care very much. While I prefer for everybody to love me, I accept the fact not everyone will. If you don’t like me than you owe it to yourself to log the hell on off my site and never return. It is okay.
I think ADHD people are impulsive when they speak. The problem is ADHD people are impulsive when they hear. Perhaps waiting a day or two would be helpful before jumping to conclusions about someone who has not really earned the title of asshole.
NOW! It is absolutely possible for an ADHD person to just be a complete and total asshole that the world could definitely do without. Having ADHD does not give you an asshole pass to be who you are and aggravate the masses with impunity.
All I am saying is make sure that this is truly who this person is before you decide to burn them at the stake.
I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome.
- You can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
- Or you can enter you email address at the top of this page and click the button that says “BE AWESOME”
- Or you could risk never hearing from me again and go through life without the benefit of my counsel, but what would be the
- I hate twitter but i am at @tomnardonehere and @adhdpeople